Grandma, to my mom after being given a package to unwrap: My gift is bigger than yours. Dad, to Grandma: Yeah, but that’s so you can see it. It runs in the family

Jenny: Will you still respect me in the morning? Me: Not likely.

Me: I got hit in the head with a block of wood. Jenny: Did you fall down? Me: No. Jenny: Because that would have been funny.

Jenny: Did you hear me? Me: Yes, but I dutifully ignored you.