Scene: Placing an order at Tim Horton’s. Jenny: Oh, am I paying? Me: Yup. See, since you’re treating, now I owe you something *wink* Jenny: You can keep it.

Me: Have I ever told you that I appreciate you? Jenny: Nope, never. Me: There must be a reason for that.

Me: Wife, you’re my favorite. Of all of them, I choose you. Jenny: I’m your only wife, you jerk! Me: Well, that’s just coincidence.

After checking out at Meijer: Me: Want me to carry something? Jenny: Sure! Me: Oh… I didn’t think you’d say yes. Jenny: Well I didn’t think you’d offer, so we’re even.